Yes it Does
Part LXXXVIII
A List of Yes's Recorded Songs
Yes rented out a music studio to record an EP of some of the songs he’d accumulated over the years so that others could enjoy them as much as he did.
“Your voice is so…interesting.”
“You have the voice of a heavy cigar smoker.”
“Whenever I hear you sing I can’t help but clear my throat and howl at the top of my lungs.”
These were the most frequently heard words of praise Yes encountered from people who happen to catch the sound of him singing.
The following songs appear on Yes’s EP. Since most of the lyrics simply contain words such as “yes” and “does,” I won’t bother transcribing them. Instead I’ll give you some insight on where the songs came from and what inspired them.
The first song, Jinto Bang Bang, came about when Yes heard a string of fifteen cars backfire in a Red Lobster parking lot. The most amazing of the backfires came from a Pinto, which then caught on fire and exploded as a result. The song should be titled ‘Pinto Bang Bang,’ but somebody doesn’t know how to spell.
The next song is titled ‘Guga Faga Forklift,’ which was inspired by Yes’s employment at a beer bottling company’s warehouse. Subtle uses of the line “does it” appear to refer to a massive bottle-breaking accident that occurred and had caused the deaths of four pet mice the company was using to give health inspectors something to do. The accident destroyed two months’ worth of beer production. It was never disclosed how the destruction came about or who was responsible, but it is suspected that Yes caused the accident since he was fired three days later. A lyric in this song indicates that his firing was because of the death of the mice.
The third song is ‘Poodle Noodle I Fart You All the Time.’ The song is almost entirely instrumental, save for the single use of the word ‘yes’ which is spoken partway through the song. Liner notes that were prepared for the EP state that the song is a musical representation of two children arguing about a bike accident they just had while their entire community is burning to the ground. However, the only sounds heard on the song were created by Yes banging plastic CD cases together while spitting on the floor. This is Yes’s favorite song to sing.
The final song Yes recorded is called ‘My Floof is Not Purple.’ In this song, Yes explains that his floof is not colored purple. A “floof” is Yes’s hair. Yes goes on to parse words by declaring that his hair is mauve, and that it is in fact you, the listener, whose “floof” is purple.
When it was all over, the EP sold reasonably well but not enough to get Yes a contract with any major labels. Rolling Stone magazine gave the EP a measly one star rating, but Bullshit magazine gave it eight stars (out of ten) and a full write-up.
The end.