Yes it Does
Part LXXXI
Yes is a Cowboy
Yes traveled out to the great plains of the United States in an effort to bring greater tameness to the West. He was hired by Doc McFilliblust to drive cattle from North Makota to South Coklahoma, and for very decent pay: five dollars per mile!
“Yes does!” Yes declared, slapping the ground with his whip.
“That’s right, boy! Tame that land!” Tim, traveling alongside him, rubbed his nipples and licked his lips while watching Yes slap the ground.
With their marching orders in place, Yes and Tim drove a herd of 178 cattle for hours on end. Yes galloped astride his faithful horse Peealot while Tim sat in a baby carriage using a canoe paddle to push himself along the unbeaten trail and between the dry shrubberies. Day in and day out they kept the mass of moving meat huddled into as tight of a group as they possibly could, ensuring that there were no strays attempting to make a break for freedom.
“I’m coming to muck up your plans!”
Charging straight for Yes and his cattle friends was the leader of the notorious Outlaw gang, the bastardly Joey the Honking Friend. He was known to all in the region as an incredibly irritating rogue who was reputed to have broken up 85 cattle drives in his lifetime. He spent his off-time getting drunk and punching children.
“Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk!” Joey the Honking Friend bellowed his ‘honks’ across the landscape to frighten the cattle. Yes and Tim took off after him, cornering him against the mass of cattle he was attempting to disperse.
“Does does it.” Yes cracked his whip straight into Joey’s face, disorienting him and causing him to fall from his horse and crash to the ground while pouring blood from a gash in his upper lip. “Yes does it yes?”
“Okay, okay,” Joey conceded, “I won’t muck up any plans. You will experience no more plan-mucking from me.”
Tim, with the canoe paddle raised over his head, coerced Joey the Honking Friend into walking away from them and back to where he came from to heal his wounds. Yes ushered Joey’s horse into the cattle crowd to be sold with the rest of them.
Once they reached the South Coklahoma border, Yes released the cattle and they quickly dispersed while Yes stood proudly watching as they fled and probably got picked up by whomever Doc McFilliblust had sold the cattle to.
Yes and Tim stood in the same spot for days with their hands out, waiting for their pay. Sure enough, after two weeks, someone arrived and placed $415 into their hands.
“Yes,” Yes gloated.
The end.