Yes it Does
Part LXIV
Yes is in the Hospital
Yes went to the hospital for a routine hospitalization. He went to the hospital for it. For what? He decided to clean lawnmower blades with his tongue and it didn’t go exactly as planned.
“You barely even deserve treatment,” one of the doctors told him. “What kind of stupidity are you all about? Why would you do what you did?”
“Yes does does yes, it yes does yes. It it does yes does it.”
“Oh, I see. And if a dog was gnawing on your testicles I suppose you’d let it. So goddamned stupid!” The good doctor flung his medical papers at Yes and left the room.
As expected, Tim came to visit Yes that day and brought him one Frank Stallone to help keep him amused. Matt brought him a cup of pee soup for nourishment. That’s PEE soup. See? I didn’t misspell that.
Yes was not amused. Not by Frank Stallone or Tim or any of them. When Joey the Honking Friend entered his room Tim threatened him by telling him if he doesn’t leave right away he’ll become Joey the Squeaking Pant-leg Eater who’ll need his own hospital gown and bedpan. Yes, so delirious from all the drugs he was hooked up to, didn’t even appreciate Tim’s threat of violence and he asked that they all leave right away.
As they were leaving the hospital, a nurse stopped Yes’s friends. “Don’t worry about him,” she said. “His face will be reassembled sometime next week. I’m just glad you guys came to see him.” The nurse smacked them each on the ass as an expression of appreciation.
Getting back to her duties, the nurse grabbed a basket full of blood bags for Yes to fiddle with while he was busy being injured.
“Here you are, Yes,” she placed the basket next to his bed. “For your fiddling pleasure.” Yes broke one of the bags open and flung it into her face.
“Does.”
“Dick.” The nurse wiped the blood off her face using the gauze wrapped around his head. “Now get better.”
The end.