Yes it Does
Part LXXXVI
The Boy Who Cried 'Idiot'
“You’re just a goddamned buffoon! A buffoon! Buffoon, I say!”
The 9-year-old boy who made that statement hopped up and down rapidly while pointing his finger directly at the face of Otto the Ugly Freak after he had slipped and fallen on some black ice.
“I’m not so buffoonish,” Otto retorted, “just a bit unbalanced.” He gathered his sturdiness and turned away from the embarrassment.
Matt, Tim, and Frank Stallone sat at a table on the patio abutting their favorite café in the 8°F weather where they observed the boy’s cackling just a few yards away.
“You there! Child! By what means do you laugh at the Ugly Freak’s slipping?” Matt questioned.
“He’s an idiot. You only just saw him, but I saw the whole thing. The slipping and the falling. No question he deserved some ridicule.” The boy packed a few icy snowballs from the curbside drifts to take home to eat.
“Hmm. True. He may well have a point,” Frank Stallone returned to their conversation about cotton bedsheets.
“Hey! Lick my steel rod next time, you frigging dolt!” The boy hollered at Harold the Biter who was standing on the other side of the street.
“Ouch! You’re mean! Waaahhhh…” Harold scampered away with his hands pressed against his face.
“Young man!” Tim indignantly sounded. “Dolt or not, the Biter-man surely deserves more respect from you than that, does he not?”
“Hardly!” the boy snorted. “You didn’t catch him pressing his tongue against that lamp post. In this cold! He truly is a dolt.”
“That is true,” Frank Stallone conceded. “It is quite cold and that is a ridiculous action to undertake.” He, Matt, and Tim returned their attention to their project of weaving paper napkins together in order to make each other a set of pot holders.
“Yo dipshit! Licking dog noses? You have to be an idiot!” The boy giggled at the sight of Yes sliding his tongue along the noses of dogs being taken out for a walk.
“Yes yes. Does it yes yes it yes does does it, does yes.” Yes marched towards the boy; grabbing his shoulders, he shook him as if electricity was shooting through his body.
Immediately, Matt, Tim and Frank Stallone arose and stood beside Yes, helping to shake some sense into the kid.
“We saw the whole thing,” Tim declared. “Yes was just trying to keep those dogs’ noses warm! Licking them will do that. Who’s the dipshit now?”
Thoroughly shaken, the boy shoved the men away from him. “You guys are mean! I think you’re all idiots!” he screeched, running away down the street.
“Yes yes it yes does does it.” Yes thanked the three gentlemen, licked each of their noses, and then went back to business.
The end.