Yes it Does
Part LX
Yes is a Newspaper Publisher
Yes recently purchased a newspaper which circulates worldwide. Here is the latest headline:
Frank Stallone Kills Millions While on Jupiter
Who has been killing off all the escapees of nuthouses? You guessed it: Frank Stallone. Scientists have wanted to dip him in applesauce and lick him for months. The nerd (you) has been sent to Jupiter to try to calm down the infamous hoaxbuster. Negotiations came to a complete standstill when the two men(?) got into a slap fight that lasted for fifteen hours.
The millions of victims were shipped to Jupiter for safe-keeping as they were believed to be safe from Frank Stallone on Earth. Scientists assigned each other blame for accidentally giving Stallone a spaceship with which to fly to the distant planet.
It is not known, as of the time of printing, whether or not the slap fight has calmed. Quite frankly, this reporter can’t get enough of slapping, biting, and the occasional slurping. It is quite hard to resist.
The picture was drawn by Yes and Harold the Biter and Joey the Honking Friend. Tim, Matt and Chewy Caramel wrote the Articles of Confederation and this article. Harold the Biter wrote “eat” in cursive in the drawing to indicate what Frank Stallone can do if he would finally just grow the fuck up and stop all this nonsense.
The masses were agog! Journalism at its absolute finest! More copies of this issue were sold than any copy of anything anywhere in ever!
A celebration was in order. Joey blew up from the excitement. Harold chewed Matt. Tim swam in the toilet.