Yes it Does
Part XXXII
Yes and the Chocolate Factory
Pile after pile of mangled candy wrappers were strewn about the sidewalks as Yes shuffled along from store to store buying bulkloads of chocolate sweetnesses. The urgency was crystal clear since Wonka Corp. was apparently going out of business. Yes would buy boxes of chocolates and shove them down his throat, stuffing his mouth to capacity just as a place to store his chocolate. Mashed-up blobs of cocoa would dribble from his lips as he continued his expedition.
Eventually exhausting all of the Wonka products, Yes pondered his next move. His pondering caused several jars of pickles to spill out onto the floor and stain the clothes of a passer-by. “Yes, that is my face. I’ll thank you for not shooting me, okay?” the man said.
“Yes,” Yes replied.
Yes walked and walked and continued walking until he stopped. It dawned on him that that passer-by was an incognito Willy Wonka! Rushing back to the shop where he encountered him, Yes spotted Willy and started nibbling on his shoulder.
“You want to nibble? I’ll give you something to nibble about!” Willy Wonka grabbed Yes by the hand, leading him to his famous factory. “Here. Try this.” Willy plucked a brick from the outside wall of his factory and handed it to Yes. Yes chomped down on it. “Not bad, right?”
“Does yes!” Yes smiled broadly, even though it broke three of his teeth. What sensuous flavors!
“Christ! It figures! You’ll eat anything!” Willy Wonka smacked his hand to his forehead in disbelief. “My face could eat yours if it wanted to. So I guess I will, said Willy Wonka eating you,” said Willy Wonka.
Yes didn’t wait around for that to happen. He quickly made haste while Willy Wonka quickly gave chase; winding in and out of corridors, sliding down stairs, climbing up rope ladders and hiding beneath sucrose-sweetened shrubbery. Yes gobbled handfuls of gummies and flesh-flavored treats while evading his pursuer.
Finally catching him, Willy Wonka grabbed Yes by the seat of the pants and tossed him outside.
“Eat shit, Fickelgruber! You won’t be laying your tongue on another Wonka product in your lifetime!” Willy slammed the front door shut and promptly went into hiding. To ensure that Yes would be kept from eating more Wonka chocolate, Willy Wonka had one of his tiny, orange thugs forcibly enter Yes’s home to tattoo the phrase ‘No Wonka Food For This Dickwad Ever Again’ onto his forehead. That should do the trick!
The end.