Yes it Does
Part IV
The Spitting Lesson
Following an extended period of negligence in his personal hygiene, Yes smelled worse than a 15-year-old sandwich that had been mushed into a ball and crammed into a donkey’s anus. He breathed on a frog and it croaked. Yes smashed the frog against a lamp post and watched its brain ooze.
He then walked into town to observe someone spit off of a highway overpass.
“I’ll teach you how to spit,” said the guy. “My name is Knocker. I’ll be your Spit Guide. Now spit!”
Yes spat on Knocker.
“Not on me, you fool. Off the bridge.”
Yes spat off the bridge.
“I can see your spitting needs work. Watch me!” Knocker spat at least four yards out. “I can go even further than that. Now try it again.”
Yes spat on Knocker. “Would you cut it out, you asshole. Now spit off the bridge!”
Yes spat on Knocker two more times. Knocker decked Yes.
“You fucking shithead!” Knocker clobbered Yes, knocking him to the pavement.
“Does yes it it yes does. Yes it does.” Yes became defiant. He got to his feet and tackled Knocker, exposing him to his oppressive body odor. Yes breathed in Knocker’s mouth, then spat on him again. Knocker was knocked out. Yes farted on Knocker as many times as he could before he breathed up his nose. As a result, Knocker smelled like an overflowing outhouse and he constantly kept farting.
That’s how we got the term “Fart Knocker.”